


Y'like cats? I do :)

by Novadikneedz2no



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Can ya'll tell me which ones ;), Cat Ears, Collar, Drabble, Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), M/M, Red has several kinks at work here, Sans is basically a cat anyway, kustard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22613824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novadikneedz2no/pseuds/Novadikneedz2no
Summary: Sans gers a new outfit. Red likes cats.
Relationships: Papyrus/Papyrus (Undertale), Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a one off I wrote. Cuz of work n stuff it took waaaay to long to just finish xD

Sans simply sat on the couch, all white vest and black shorts, licking at a blue lollipop (from stretch). He felt too lazy to automatically absorb the thing but the sweetness was nice and having his teeth open and his tongue out was always such a fascinating feeling.  
He and Berry had gotten pulled into some dress up shenanigans with Alphys, Undi(swap), Stretch and his own brother. Of course acting like a blob had kept them from taking too many pictures and Berry was such a natural so all their attention eventually focused there.

Or so he thought.  
Right at the blessed end they had brought out a curs- an interesting cosplay....?  
His signature jacket was kitty-fied out with cat ear extensions in the hood and the soft fluff a blue fading to white instead of just plain white. It was also much longer and had coattails that started where the old one ended. Reason being the outside had a separate set of ears and tail, starting white and fading to a nice blue. Plus a cute little blue collar! With a bell! Fun.

Both were enhanced and before he could escape Papyrus had plopped them on him, the tingle of magic sealing his fate. He accepted the gifts for his Halloween costume with pride at his bro for getting this done for him buuuut having cat ears and a tail was really, really weird.  
They weren't coming off either. Stretch sheepishly apologised for not warning him by giving him several lollipops and Alphys said they should just fall off later so here he lay, waiting. Licking, swirling and waiting some more.

The door unlocks and opens just as he pops the pop out of his mouth for a moment, a slight ribbon of saliva still connected.

Its Red and he freezes on sight. Blue smiles up at him from the couch,  
"hey~"  
before returning to licking and sucking his lollipop.

 _"Holy Shit a me sh'd totally Not look that good._ " Red thinks, starting to sweat.

"wuts with da pussy outfit?" Red sarcastically says as he strolls over "ya taking up a new hobby?"

Sans stretches, his 'ears' twitching and his tail rolling out before relaxing into a raised, lazy curl.

"nah, paps, alph and undi made it for me but they don't detach." he yawns, his cat bell jingling.

Poor Red freezes again, catching sight of the cute little blue collar and his imagination explodes for a few seconds.

"you good Red? lookin a lil hot under the collar there."

Red's eyelights flick back to Sans' and he nervously scratches a cheekbone.

"i'm good, i'm good. just ringing up a match." He points at his own collar and twitches when Sans' eyes widen in recognition and his tail gives an awfully ~~(adorably)~~ realistic little flick.

"that is true."

Red jumps a little when Classic leans closer to observe his collar, his ears rotating forward. If he decided to sniff (even just to mess with him) Red was going to combust.

"question. can ya feel those ears?"

Classic looks confused for a moment and pulls back to sit cross legged and Red has to physically suppress the need to chase after him.

"are you asking if i have nerves in them or if you can touch em?"  
As he talks the lollipop slips in and out of view, as well as his tongue.

"b-Both! Both is good." Red blurts, swallowing air and trying to keep his tongue from forming. Drool would be...difficult to explain. It might make Sans become guarded and ruin the ridiculously and cutely ~~(hot)~~ natural way he acted with his extensions.

Sans squints at the slip before shrugging,

"to answer the first question: yes I can sorta feel it when people touch em. I still hear the same tho. it's real weird having these things on."

Red watches as one of his ears automatically bat away a spec of fluf and internally thanks the stars he exists.

"and yes you can touch 'em."

"Ya sure?"

Fk there was magic in his mouth now. He forcefully dissipates it by swallowing air again.  
_"Fantisise about lick'n em after i feel em."_ He chastises his brain.

"Yup. have at."

Red feels giddy as Sans leans forward ears bouncing and tail slowly swishing side to side. After double checking the other's eyes were closed Red gives the pair a few experimental pokes.

"sorry, its ticklish when you do that."  
Sans snickers and the his ears bat away at the poking, tail swishing faster.

"aight, lol"

Red is figuratively dying at this point. He goes to feel the strange texture. There is a point where, as someone who pets cats, you can tell the fur is faux but damn does it not feel good. No wonder he let them put it on.  
He softly traces its edges and runs his fingers through the inner fur, doing so with one ear, then the other, then both. He only realises he's started to just straight up pet Sans when the muted jingle of the cat bell reaches his ears.

Sans was leaning against him, completely relaxed with his tail tracing lazy lines into the couch. As he gets the corner of his right ear scratch he leans right into it, unintentionally exposing his neck and collar to a tongue formed Red who felt seconds away from snapping his teeth round that exposed bit of bone.

It's all over when Red feels Sans' head vibrate. A deep and soft rumbling sound was coming out of the skeleton monster. He was purring. This little shite was purring. Now he had no out to the boner he literally just popped and he either had to shortcut the second his eyes opened or attack him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe. My favourite part is I'm not sure if I want Sans to know what he's doing or have no idea what he's just done to poor poor Red uwu)


	2. Cat Snas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a few months later in the 'Tale household. Can you see the blatant shipping??? Can You See The Memes?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oneshots really...I really shouldn't write on my phone but EH

"i'm telling you, the guy's a cat!"

"He's A Fucking Snail Is What He Is. A Sloth even."

"No bro y'aren't getting it! he is _absolutely_ a cat."

The fell brother snap at each other quietly at the table, hissing words between bites of lasagne.

"What Are You Discussing?" Says Papyrus as he sits at the table, his own plate loaded with food. Edge's eyes light up at the sight.

"oh, just how your brother is literally a house cat in a skeleton."

" _SANS!_ " Edge chastises Red.

"oh! uuhh..whoops?"

Papyrus raises a hand to his bony chin to emphasize his thinking face.

"A House Cat...I Can Sort Of See It Actually."

"See!?" Red grins triumphantly.

"Well that still doesn't prove anything! I need to 'see' some evidence!"

"Hmm..SANS!"

"what?" Comes the quiet holler.

"COME DOWN! DINNER'S READY! ALSO WE NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING!"

"k." He says from directly behind Edge.

He dodges the reflex elbow jab and him and Red share shit eating grins as he walks by into the kitchen. Edge's glare is thunderous and Papyrus simply sighs and facepalms.  
Sans takes his seat beside Red and takes a bite, speaking with his mouth half full;

"so whdya need lilole me four?"

"Sans, Don't Do That!"

"k."

He loudly gulps down his whole mouthful with Red snickering quietly. Red hopes no one notices the colour in his cheeks. No one does.

"I Need You To Act like a Cat For Us."

Red bursts out laughing as Sans blinks, completely confused. Edge stares at Papyrus with a slightly open mouth.

"wut?"

"I Would Like You To Act Like A Small Cat."

"so...like...nya?" Sans raises an arm and bends his hand in a little wave.

"What?"  
Papyrus squints as his brother's grin starts to get that creepy edge to it.

"y'kno, _Nya~_ "

"STOP."

Red falls off his chair laughing and everything goes silent for a few seconds before both Sanses are laughing, their brothers soon reluctantly following suit. The household is filled with laughter.  
When they all calm down and Sans wipes his sockets clear he asks;

"so what was that about?"

"This One-" Edge indicates his brother "-Thinks You Are A Cat And I Am Trying To Correct That."

This time everyone definitely notices the colour on his cheekbones since it now covers a vast majority of his skull and also Sans is Staring.

"you think im a fine feline?"

Sans raises a brow at his odd colour copy. Red laughs awkwardly, avoiding eye contact and whistles the tune of "What's New Pussycat".

"Red, Stop That This Instant."

"what?" Red smirks, internally happy to be redirecting the topic.

Sans whistles a few notes from "tik tok" Both Papyruses facepalm while their brothers snicker at each other.

"Honestly Sometimes I Can't Tell Who's The Worse Influence On The Other."

Papyrus sighs and shares a mutual longsuffered look with Edge.

"Anyway Nice Try Red But You Aren't Getting Out Of This!"  
Edge announces, grinning sharply with Red's eyes shrinking nervously.

"y-y'gotta be _kitten_ me." He jokes, sweat beading his skull.

" _purrsonally_ i'm still confused. you think i'm a cat?"

"y'r like one." Red's cheekbones colour again and he hunches in his hoodie, sticking a hand in his pocket and using the other to pick at his food, shoving a mouthful in and chewing slowly.

"WELL I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EGDE, CHALLENGE YOU TO PROVE YOUR HYPOTHESIS!!!" Edge announces while pointing a pointy digit at Red who hurriedly swallows his mouthful to interject.

"OR ELSE GIVE UP AND ADMIT THIS ONE IS A SLOTH." He indicates Sans "-No Offense."

"none taken!" Replies a widely grinning Sans, fully invested in wherever this weird conversation was going.

**"WELL? WILL YOU FIGHT? OR PERISH LIKE A DOG!?"**

Papyrus throws him an offended look and Sans eyes widen slightly in surprise. As do Red's. He opens and shuts his jaws multiple times before his expression sets and he holds a viciously determined smirk.

"aight. i'll _**bite**_." His teeth shut with a click and his grin shows off far more of the sharpness of his teeth than before.

"imma need your full consent with this though Sans. you being the subject n all."

"sure, why not." Sans shrugs and him and Red share a more normal grin between each other.

"'sides. its not everyday i get t'hear my bro challenge me with _memes_. its great t'kno im such a great influencer."

The Sanses snicker as Edge flushes. Papyrus looks confused and resolves to look up this meme. Ever since they had connected with the other AUs the sanses especially have been introducing each other to the "memes" from their surfaces.

"i'm gonna need that cat set from Halloween and about two whole days for this experiment."  
Red's eyes dart around as he counts off the things he would need to prepare in his head.  
"I'll probably need a week depending on Alph and then we'll carry it out."

"CARRY OUT WHAT EXACTLY?" Papyrus asks excitedly, stars in his eyes.

"The experiment of course!"

Red holds up two fingers

"For two whole days and nights me'n sansy here are gonna have some alone time in this house-"  
Red smirks at Sans who raises a brow, his soul giving a little skip.  
"-And we gon do a wee bit of roleplay to get him used to it. Then we'll just do normal stuff. You'll getit when y'see it."

"HOW WILL YOU KEEP TRACK?"

"im thinking 3 cameras. im gonna bring in some of my stuff into your room and put a camera there, in the kitchen and in the living room."

"none outside?" Asks Sans.

"nope. we ain't leaving. you'll have take a few days off work."

Sans soul gives a notable thump at that and he shrugs to shake off the feeling.

"fine by me."

"WHAT ABOUT ME THOUGH?"

"you Papyrus, can have a sleepover with Edge. is that cool bro?"

" **YES!** \- YES, ABSOLUTELY."

Red shoots him a raised brow for his enthusiastic reaction and Papyrus sends him starry eyes.

 _*gasp*_ _**"REALLY?!?"**_

Edge stiffly nods, his soul thumping in his chest. Papyrus squees excitedly.

"so this is actually happening?" Sans chuckles, highly amused and a little sparked up.

"yup. in fact-" Red gobbles down his leftovers and hops off his seat.  
"-y'can sho me wer yr set is s'nz."

"Finish Your Food First Red." Edge growls.

Red gulps down his food.  
"already have lol."

"i haven't."

"hurry up then!" Red whines.

Sans laughs and magically absorbs the rest of his food, hopping off his seat to follow a very impatient Red.

Edge sighs and takes out his phone when a notification dings.

sanz  
fyi the lasagne was fkn bomb. thx bro

sanz  
oh n sanz says so too. bees knees. thx. ;)

TGAT Papyrus  
SANS WE ARE IN THE SAME HOUSE.

sanz  
huz SANS? im red.

TGAT Papyrus  
>:|

sanz  
luv u 2 bro.

TGAT Papyrus  
>8|

***

"i can't believe you almost made us walk up the stairs."

"oh shh. im tryna rush'ere."

"lol."

Sans pushes his room door open and walks straight to his dresser, opening a side compartment that looks newer than the rest of it.

"got this made to keep it nice. probably dusty still though."

"n p. gimme d'goods."

Sans gives him the goods. The fluffy ears and tail seem to be in pretty good condition and Sans lets Red put them on him, unable to stop a soft exhale when the tail attaches. Red tries and fails not to blush furiously as he goes through some checks.  
Turn left, turn right, move your ears around, swish your tail, etc. Sans also tried not to blush when Red would occasionally hold him still(via hips or skull accordingly) to get him to focus more on moving his extensions. Neither comment on this.

"these need an upgrade."

"really?"

"yup. trust me you'll get it afterwards."

"whatever you say Red." Sans yawns, his ears lowering with his tail doing a loose whip.

Red swears his stupid Soul doesn't jump at the awfully ~~adorable~~ natural movement, no excited tingles down his spine! No sir!  
He grins and texts both his and Sans' Alphys as well as Undi.

\----  
sanz 

2 words

sanz  
**neko sanz**

sanz  
You in?

sanz  
p.s. classic not me

sanz  
I'm not a gud cat :3  
\------

"i'll call ya in for d'fittings. see ya soon!" Red chirps with a salute before he blips out of existence.

Sans chuckles quietly and sits on his bed, taking some time to flex his ears.  
"heh, weird."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what I'm doing with this :) There is more tho. I'm putting Red through the ringer >:3


	3. Cat is Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 Part 1. Snas is Cat effective immediately. He's so Cat Red's gonna get whiplash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet.

Once all 3 scientists are onboard they get to work. It really does take just under a week and Red has to question why he's really doing this multiple times whenever Sans tries on the prototypes. It gets really interesting when he tries on a hyper sensitive tail that has him leaning on Red for support and shivering, making soft murrs. Red had to be the one to detach it and they decide to never speak of the sound he made again.

At last the day/days arrive and both Sanses takes a Thursday and Friday off. Papyrus has already moved his bed (much to Edge's in-denial dismay) and clothes over. Red has done the same.

"it's weird to see my bed lengthways like this." Sans wonders.

"imagine how it is for me!" Red says, hefting the final set box under his arm.

"lol."

Various bits and pieces from Red's room are scattered around. Little things like a picture, a few new pieces of trash in the tornado, a desk and chair and some clean(Courtesy of Edge) clothes in the drawers. This is to introduce his presence to Sans' instincts. It would be a lie to say it didn't spark something in their souls. Which was what they were after. Right?

"here's the thing. we finished it off yesterday." Red shyly shoves the box in Sans' direction, blushing.

"thx." Sans smiles and takes it, sitting on the bed to open it.

Red has to look up when a soft gasp reaches him. Sans looks amazed. The ears come out first, much taller in length and fluffier in texture while also not being stringy and strand focused. They start out white at the base and work up with lazy light blue stripes going across and a simple blue headband connects them.  
The tail is much thicker as well and seems to contain structure inside it. The same lazy white and blue stripes adorn it.

"this is..so kewl." Sans' grin is broad.

"heh. thank the girls. they went all in on this." Red mumbles, scratching his skull.

He had went in just as much as they did. In fact much of the design and colour coordination were his idea. They'd had to stop his perfectionism a few times.

"do I just...put them on now?"

"yup."

So he does.  
The ears click into place easily, twitching nervously about before he adjusts them and takes a calming breath so they sit at a default position.  
The tail comes next. He takes off his jacket and bends over, trying to find the spot to latch it onto his tailbone. Red spins around from the sight as his cheeks bloom yet again.

"sorry, need a lil help here." Sans groans, unable to see his tail clearly with his hips in the air.

"s-sure thing." Red gulps.

He kneels on the bed behind and tries to avoid lewd thoughts as the tail clicks on. Sans annihilates that attempt with a groan purr combo and his tail trailing up and over Red's face. There's a moment of silence in which Red combusts and Sans gets used to the new sensation.

"Congrats foo. Ya played urself." He thinks, getting off the bed and using blue magic to pull his chair over.

"..so...how y'feeling?" He asks, a notebook and pencil in hand.

"not bad? just a lil weird I guess." Sans replies.

"kl kl. any discomfort at all?"

"nop. tail's a bit weighty tho but that's cool."

"aight, if ur cool with it. i've got one more piece to add.."

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out something that jingles sweetly; a small blue collar. It has a bell with a golden name tag attached like a sort of chime. It reads

Sans  
Temporary Cat-a-day

On the front and;

Owner  
Sanz >:3

On the back.

Sans takes and stares at it, deep in thought. Red gets more flustered with every passing second. Had he overstepped? Was this too embarrassing to wear? Too weird? Ugly???  
He starts sweating and opens his mouth to voice these concerns but Sans cuts him off with a wide smile and happy eyes.

"it's pretty cool! not gonna lie i kinda love it."

Red's eye lights disappear in shock and a nuke goes off inside him.

"-ou gonna help me with this or?"

Red blinks back into reality only to combust again with Sans facing slightly away from him and holding the ends of the collar out to him, neck and collar exposed.

"yeap! sure!"

Red would later deny any retelling of this tale where he squeaked those words. He manages not to fumble too much and backs away pretty quick, taking out his notebook again.

"so- So. here's the dealio. Basically you just gotta incorporate the stuff on this list while we sorta hang out."

He clears his non existent throat a few times before ripping out a page with this list written down.

1)Laze around.  
2)Get pets  
3)Get fed  
4)Play with random objects  
5)Cause mischief (like knocking stuff over if ya want but ey its ur house :3)  
6)Talk less(you can still talk tho)  
7)Try to use your body more than your words (body language and simple vocalisations)  
8)You can get in and out of my space whenever  
9)You cant leave the house(indoor cat)  
10)Whatever else you think of.

"long list." Sans says, eyebrows raised.

"yeah heh. too much tho?" Red asks hesitantly.

"nop. I can work with this. Starting with number two." Sans grins, waggling his brows.

Red sweats a little more at Sans' 'come hither' motion and repeatedly orders his brain to not think about other things...with mixed results. As soon as his hypothetical butt is sat on the bed Sans wastes no time in turning his lap into a pillow: full body stretching and flopping down with his tail languidly swishing side to side.

Poor Red has another forty five hours of internal combustion to go. This is the best day of his life.

"ya sure r relishing this." Says Red as he starts petting the ears.

"just wanna ketchup on some extra Zzz" Sans purrs into his lap.

They fall into an easy silence and Red practically massages Sans' skull, rubbing and scratching in just the right places to make Sans actively purr. He melts into Red and purrs like a muted motorbike, profoundly content. At some point he rotates so his chin can get a few scratches and Red happily gets stabbed in the kokoro by the Sans equivalent of  
__  
|  
3  
|  
\----

This kitty was gonna up and kill him 45 hours too early. He had to move. He starts to get up only for Sans to whine and try to hold him down with his body weight. Cute, but not enough.  
He successfully stands at the cost of a smug Sans wrapped around him like a jumper. He drags the smug faced prick to his new desk where Sans immediately drapes himself over his lap again, head and legs hanging off the edges.

"is this necessary?" Red grumbles, trying to reach into the drawers without knocking off his passenger.

"refer to number 8~"

"wha-?"

And then he remembers. And sighs. Sans just chuckles and continues to dangle, his tail held up and moving slightly, back and forth. Red notes his use of it before doing some theory work and ignoring the blot of tail in his vision.  
After a while of making a surprising amount of progress Sans gets bored of dangling.

"can we not do something else?"

"nop. got important stuff to be writing."

"but I'm bored and this position isn't good for sleep."

Red doesn't mention what his position is actually good for. His mind does a scream when the other's tail caresses his cheek.

"come ooon~ let's do something else~"

Sans rolls around, whining and tipping precariously near to the edge. To be honest he does feel a little ridiculous doing it but seeing Red lock up (out of the awkwardness? 0:3) was hilarious. He does roll a bit too far and starts falling.  
Arms half catch him and he hears the thud of Red's chin hitting the desk and things go quiet for a moment as Red softly cusses.

"oop. soz red." He apologises, crawling out from under the other's legs.

"s'fine i guess. use me like a frkn elevator i guess." Red grumbles.

"oh I wouldn't dare stop so low." Says Sans, stretching.

Red's vision spins for a second and clears just in time to see a gloriously executed downward cat pose.  
His eyes grow noticeably larger as Sans stretches forward(forward cat?) and then somehow settles into a seated position.

"that was more relieving than I thought." He muses.

"ya tellin me." Red wheezes.

His brain was kindly shoving all the cat love memes he knew to the forefront of his non existent brain(heh)

"...Aight fine, lets go down and eat something."

"sweet!"  
Sans ears flick up and down as he stands. Red grumbles nominally and follows him out of the room and straight into the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are they gon do in ze kitchen 0uo? #noclue


	4. Cat Sa-!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful everyday of Red the temporary pet owner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full body pets? :3

"so what'll it be? Lasagna? Spaghetti? Another type of pasta?" 

Red asks as he rummages through the fridge. There was some fresh produce too but they weren't the type.

"Grillby's." 

"wut?" 

"you heard me." 

"yeah, I did but we can't leave d'house."

"I can't leave the house, I'm just a widdle cat. but you my _Big, Strong, **Owner~**_ _Can~_ " 

Fuck. His body locked up. Sans probably didn't realise how effective those words, drawled in that tone, were. Ok maybe he could see but he probably didn't know the actual reason why hopefully because Ho-lee FUCK. It's taking Red far too long to respond so he hurriedly does.

"y'no our bros wud see n we'd get in trouble."

"not if we're sneaky about it." Goes Sans conspiratorial whisper, suddenly sitting cross legged at his feet. 

Red's soul just about jumps to his throat and starts beating faster what with the squinty eyed Cheshire grin on the other's face, his tail whooshing side to side on the floor behind him. It felt like he was losing a battle he hadn't even started fighting. 

"the cams-" 

"you can just say the cat tricked you its fine~" 

It wasn't fine but it was harder to focus on that with Sans using that accursed drawling, meow like voice on him. Did he know? Did he know what he was doing? To him? 

"-b-but-" 

"oh please Red~" drawled the little ingrate, eyelights expanding into saucers; taking the hand in the fridge and pulling it to his cheek.

" _for me?_ " 

His full moon eyes became lidded and Red was done.

" **...fuck**." 

Sans wide grin is victorious.

***

They finish their meal the dining area and after a quick clean up they were on the couch, Sans draped over the majority of it while Red sat stiffly, twitching with the urge to touch the fluffy tail in his lap. He distracts by channel flicking.

"Oo this is nice! Stop here."

Red stops on a cooking show with Mettaton and, surprisingly, _his_ Grillby as a guest cook. Expert carnage ensues. 

"dude, we just ate."

" _Exactly_." 

Sans grins that cheshire grin at him like that's somehow supposed to make sense, his ears bouncing and flicking before he settles back down. Red chuckles and relaxes, his hands heading toward his short pockets but landing on the fluffy tail in his lap instead. Both of them twitch at the contact but Sans shoots him an agreeable wink and turns his attention back to the tv. 

Stars, it's so soft. He runs his digits through the silky fur, keeping an eye on his doubles reactions. Damn Alphys for knowing exactly what he meant by long haired short hair. A medium haired with the silk of a long hair and uniformity of a short hair. Perfect. Aside from the occasional unnecessarily cute ear flick Sans seems to be fine so pushes his digits deeper.

The tail seems to curl towards his touch when his sharp phalanges gently scrape the bone structures underneath. Those bones are pretty much a spine extension at this point so it made sense for Sans to feel them more. Red supports the tail with one hand and keeps running his digits through it, settling on a semi fast stroke speed that makes Sans sockets droop drowsily. The longer the length of each stroke the more Sans seems to relax.

Red however, isnt too keen on brushing the connection point between tail and tailbone, flashbacks of sensitive sighs and trembling from the testing phase playing in his skull. But Sans is beginning to purr and he doesn't want it to stop that so he has a great idea!

"ey sans?" 

"yea, sans?" 

They snicker at that.

"Stay still for a sec I'm boutta try somethin." 

Sans side eyes him a bit, making him sweat a little.

"k." 

"kul."

Red takes a breath, ~~despite being a skeleton lol~~ , and shifts so Sans' is more or less in his lap and he can reach and rub his skull. Sans melts into the touch and his ears droop, his purrs deepening and his tail dragging lazily back and forth on the couch.

Man this guy loves his head pats. 

Red, rubs from the front of the skull back towards the neck a few times before doing one long rapid stroke from head to tail.

**_"MMRRPP?!"_ **

Sans eyes snap open and his body shudders as a weird pleasure courses through him and he feels ridiculously close to keening, his tiny bell ringing from the abrupt action and his eyelights fuzzy saucers. His back and tail had arched into a u shape, allowing for an easier stroke. He falls limp back onto the couch, both of their cheekbones flushed red and blue respectively. 

"-can i -can i do that again?" 

Red can't believe those words had exited his jaws. They both colour even brighter when Sans enthusiastically nods, not trusting his mouth to speak.

So Red does it again, Sans managing to suppress his reaction to to a quiet murr before Red does it again. And again. And again. Sans deteriorates to a curved puddle, moving in tandem with the strokes and purrs enthusiastically, soft groans intersped. Red internally combusts again, his grin bordering on manic as he plays Sans like a strange xylophone. 

How easy would it be to just pull on Sans tail and lean over, moving a knee to straddle him. He ~~un~~ fortunately catches himself already guiding Sans into place and stops that. It would be a little too weird. Also everyone was going to view this footage so... 

"huh? wha??" 

Sans dazed questions come when Red slowly stops petting him. Sans is very much out of it and very distressed by the pleasure that had been wrecking him stopping.

" _Reeeedd~_ " 

Red almost cracks with the whine of his name. Instead he normalises his grin and responds.

"wut?" 

" _why'd y'stooop_?" Sans mewls, pawing at him.

"why indeed." Red chuckles nervously.

Sans pouts at him and sits up, yawning.

"I'm gonna take a nap." 

Is all he says before curling up on the couch, his tail slapping Red in the face before rounding up and completing his lil circle. Red's indignant splutter lasts a second before the vision that is Sans' round balled up form greets his eyes.   
After waiting a few more seconds to be sure Sans is asleep he spends a good five minutes taking photos. His lock screen has changed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many ways to do this...But dw I'm doing it lol XD More teasing+++


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